Oh, Hey Tumblr.

Its almost 2:30 in the morning. Im at whats his faces apt and i couldnt be more upset. This whole kd thing is bringing me down. IDK what else to do. I am being called to standards for some bullshit reasons and idk what else i could do for this organization. I am dropping my position bc i know i cant do a good job anymore but i cant even control my own life. 

idk why i feel this way. this isnt me. im not depressed or sad or angry or confused. im suppose to be happy and loving and care free. it just hurts to fight and pretend. i cant talk to anyone. it just hurts so fuckin bad. i have to go talk to a counselor again tomorrow but his black ass aint gonna help me. he is just there to look at me like im a fuckin cry baby bitch.

fuck dude! i dont get it.

well lets look at my life right now.

- i live in fuckin pembroke (enough for anyone to hate life)

- im fat (life just sucks all around)

- im having a relationship/fucking a guy who is fucking other girls on the weekends

- i cant control my emotions because im depressed

- guys dont wanna date me cuz im fat or ugly or something along those lines

- i work at andys and make jack shit

- i cant pay my bills

- i cant talk to anyone about how i feel bc no one gets it.

- i have to pretend everything is fine bc if i dont people will look at me like im weak

- im being called to standards bc “im a bad kd” or some shit like that

so i mean thats just pretty much everything.

Life just kinda fucking sucks in general. 

i just dont understand. i dont wanna be a whinny little bitch. i dont wanna cry or be sad or angry anymore. 

i just wanna be happy. thats all i want.

(Source: 500daysofjuststop)